My two cents on bums (non-mobile)

I've been accused on several occasions of being an asshole (and rightly so). And today is no different. But I'm not sure whereabouts I was/am actually an asshole on this particular situation. I think it's subjective.



Well, here's the story: Since my move is indefinately delayed due to the incredibly nice Matthew (husband of my mother's godchild) having his van catch on fire halfway here... I decided to jet down to the corner store and pick up a 12 pack. I don't like spending time alone sober, especially on the weekend. That's all changing once I move, but for now, bottoms up.


So I bike on down to the store and there's this guy there who I've seen and talked to before sitting outside smoking. I see that he now has a "new" bike (his last one was stolen). I say "cool", go inside, get my beer, completely forget to get trash bags and paper towel (the more important part of this beer run), and step outside. We strike up what was supposed to be small chit chat as I load the beer into my messenger bag, and the seemingly innocent question, which is usually rhetorical, is exchanged: "how are things?"


ME: Not to bad, yourself?


HIM: Not so great man.


ME: How come?


HIM: I'm homeless man.



Now how do you respond to that? My initial and internal responce was "my heart goes out to you brother. If I carried cash instead of plastic, I would give you money so that the burdeon of the world might be lifted from your shoulders for a short while." But as I tried to be nice and positive, and desperately trying to (and failing horrifically) to not slip into any of the stereotypical death traps usually stumbled into by the typical unhomeless person trying to relate and, maybe, learn a little something (and seem humanitarian; but not sickingly so), out slips the "n-word" from this broke homeless sweetheart of the streets.


This is about where I question my asshole-ness. I continued talking to him. Honestly, I never wanted to talk to him in the first place. He's old, dirty, smelly, and a loser. He's not down on his luck, one of the forgotten, etc. Maybe you think that is the asshole part. But let me explain something: I'm not prejudiced against homeless people. I'm prejudiced against losers. I could tell just by looking at him that he wasn't deep. He wasn't even human. He lacked a soul. That's the only way I can explain it.


Of course, those thoughts made me feel bad about myself as a person; that is until he showed his true colors tonight. I suppose, that possibly, when all the world is against you; blind hate, while still unacceptable, is at least understandable. From a psychological standpoint; if everyone in the world treats you like shit, and you have no one that you can identify with on an emotional and personal level, then you might reevaluate your standards, and start trying to identify people at a lower more superficial level. So skin color, class rank, etc, might become your new rating system. By that thinking, becoming racist/sexist/homophobic/class-hating is understandable. Psychologically speaking. Buuuuuuut...


I learned nothing about the world from my encounter with the racist bum. And by the way, he's been homeless on and off for about 20 years. He only gave me his sob story in hopes that I'd give him some money or some of my beer. He didn't say as much, but he certinally wouldn't let go of my hand when I said "nice to meet you" and shook his hand since he extended it. If he wasn't dirty and racist (and by dirty I mean just a slob, worse than me (and that's pretty bad)- not physically dirty, although he was quite so), I might think that at that moment, he was fragile and spent, and reaching out for help. And I could be the guiding light that reaffirms his faith in humanity. Then the fictional puff story from that point on would bring this man to stop drinking, stop begging, get a job, run for senator and save a small town from shutting down homeless centers saving hundreds from the harsh hurricane season.


But he's just an asshole. My question to you: Was I more of an asshole when I 1)Kept talking to him after he opened his mouth to show me a steaming pile of dog shit sitting on his tongue, or B) when I didnt give him any money/beer and then blogged about it when I came home as if I was somehow better than him just because I'm not a racist?

I discoved my secret goodbye cake

Last day at work!

X= Fingers Crossed =X

UPDATE #1
UPDATE #2
UPDATE #3
UPDATE #4
UPDATE #5

What should be a pretty straightforward and everyday task to half the population, is about to take place in my kitchen. However, for me, it is a monumentous and frightening time: I am about to do my own computer upgrade. I just got my order from NewEgg. I was surprised to see such a tiny box, and even more surprised to find a much smaller box inside, and then triply surprised when I found everything thrown together and touching, and my copy of Windows XP Pro in a what appears to be the booklet and a single disk. It says on the disk "For distribution with a new PC only". And here I am, the idiot who thought he was going the "legal" right by not accepting the hundreds of offers for a free version. But, whatever. It's not my fault; it's NewEggs (but they're cheap and came well recommended). ANYWAY...



I've got both OCZ 512mb ram chips, and the cherry on top of the sunday; a Toshiba 100gb harddrive with 16mb cache and it actually jerks you off when you unseal the bag. I just hope my laptop understands all this new fangled machinery inside of it's virgin shell.



The lab experiment specimin is a Sony Vaio PCG-FRV25 with a 2.66GHZ Pentium 4 and a DVD/CD-RW. The rest of the specs don't matter cause they're moving out.



I've decided to risk losing some information. I really am not 100% sure how this works. I THINK that I should be able to do the install, and later on if I decide I want some files from the old hard drive I can pop it back in. That drive will have Windows XP Home, the other XP Pro. Is this wishful thinking? Am I really this naive? Yep. If I can't use that other drive again, I'll take it as a sign from Allah that all my writing and web design was meant to be started all over again from dirty thoughts and the occasional cat nap. If my next post is just a sentence or two long then that means I really messed things up. Wish me luck!



Update #1:Well the RAM failed to install. After a BIOS update and help from a tech savvy friend (guy I'm moving in with actually), it still don't work. I mean it recognizes and uses the ram, but it doesn't use it to it's full potential. My $80 512mb cards have been reduced to 192mb. And somehow, when combined, they equal 433. That's also the amount I used to have (although it was "technically" 512". I think there's a problem here. It's like my laptop's favorite number is 433. Move past it! Anyway, wheras this was the most important part of my upgrade, I am going to move on and upgrade the hard drive and operating system. Maybe my friend can help me when he comes Saturday to save me from this hellhole that I lovingly refer to as "Tampa Florida". Toodles... till the next update.



UPDATE #2:Ghosts are haunting my computer. The RAM issue continues. No matter what chip I put in; be it either of the 256 or 512's, it reads it the same. Even stranger is how it reads it: a 512 reads as 192? Even the original 512 combo reads as 448. Huh? I made some calls today; to say the least...



UPDATE #3:After working on the problem all day on and off while at work via MSN on my phone with a friend/techy, we discovered a whole treasure chest of problems that the Sony Vaio has with memory alltogether. And it turns out that my mother's Vaio tower pc is experiencing the more usual symptoms: random reboots, problems booting from an off positon, etc. The problem lies in the connection between the SO-DIMM slot and the motherboard. Apparently there are a lot of unhappy customers, and Sony has yet to address the problem. BTW, my version of Vaio is a recall according to this (depending on it's manufacturing date, which is unkown to me). Luckily, I have no plans to use a dialup modem. Ever. Again. Ever. Anywho, the hunt continues...



UPDATE #4:After some intense research, numerous phone calls, and experimentation with the actual RAM and laptop (and some "minor" mistakes; such as changing the RAM with the AC still plugged in (computer off) and getting "tingles"; but ram still works), I've come to the conclusion that either my NewEgg.com chips have been mislabled, and both are really 256, Sony Vaio really does suck and only works with OEM parts (like Crucial.com promises these will), or Vaio's are simply "picky". I can live with picky. Picky means that there is a solution. An annoying and possibly expensive one (depending on how you handle the situation), but a solution nonetheless. I'm less than enthusiastic after reading a 1,500 signature petition against Sony's memory hardware, but there's no turning back now. Onward Ho!




UPDATE #5:The following week's experiments can only be achieved because I have mad ass money in the bank that I don't need immediate access to. Since I'm pretty much indebted to this laptop, I'm going to do some expensive testing. By that, I mean that it will cost a lot now but I'll get all the money back later. Here's the plan:

1) Instead of returning the OCZ chips to Newegg, I return them to OCZ as an EXCHANGE. I've been promised that the chips will be tested, guarenteed to be marked correctly, and possibly of a slightly different variety (but same capacity).

2)Meanwhile, tomorrow I purchase the Kingston 512 200p that I saw in this tiny shop on the way home. This will tell me whether the OCZ is, in fact, mislabled. If a third 512 shows up as less than half it's expected capacity, then the problem lies outside the realm of RAM experimenting. I've already inquired about their return policy: No Questions Asked. I like that

3)I order 2 512mb "Guarenteed to be compatible" chips from Crucial.com. I believe their policy is the same. It's that "Guarenteed" part that solidifies my faith. Course; I'll ask first. And finally...

4)Come Sunday or Monday, once moved and in North Carolina (and in desperate spastic mode for my upgrade to be complete), I'll go-a-shoppin' in some real brick and mortar stores (all with iron-clad return policies of course).



When all of this craziness is over, I will have purchased about 7 RAM boards (2 from NewEgg, 1 from place on the way home, 2 from Crucial, and 2 from some store in North Carolina). In all, it'll cost me around $560. That's more than $100 more than I paid for this entire upgrade. Thank God for return policies.

Change of plans

Saturday the Salvation Army comes for all my furniture, and on Sunday I move! it`s a couple weeks ahead of schedule, but i may have a job lined up. This week really is going to be an adventure!

Let the good times roll

This is going to be interesting. By the end of the week I'll get my eviction notice and be unemployed. Boy, what a great time to give up drinking! Honestly though, it all sounds worse than it really is. Both are by choice. I'm moving in a week or so to North Carolina to start my life anew. I'm moving in with my parent's Godchild, her husband and their kids. It has benefits all around for everyone involved, but will be a fairly temporary situation. That said; bring it on Mr.Eviction and Mrs.Unemployment. Let the good times roll...

The Devils Regects

Fist of all: WATCH THIS MOVIE. Secondly, I'm simply amazed with Rob Zombie. Not only does he have the coolest name ever held by a director, but he's just amazing. Rob Zombie is the future of horror films. And that's really saying something, considering that horror films just aren't that scary anymore. But Zombie has that ability to aggrivate you. He makes you wish the moment would pass so that would wont have that level of impatience hanging over you about whether the person you incomprehensibly care about will live, die, or what.


What really made this movie kick ass, was the mixture of horror and drama. Usually, the killers are inhuman. But in this movie you end up caring about the killers in a certain unnerving way. You can't help it. You just like them! And you're sad to see them die. It's weird. It's fucked up. But it happens, and it's all thanks to Rob Zombie. Hat's off, you crazy rocker. You crossed the entertainment death zone sucessfully and your future is solid. Go watch this movie, it wont let you down.

Mobile Blogging

*Sigh*


Yahoo Blog and Blogger.com ... you've let me down! Yahoo has this crazy and seemingly impossible desire for your email to contain your cellphone number, and apparently NOTHING else. I have a Yahoo Mail Plus account, that I pay for, and it supports POP3 access. You need that in order to post from your phone, but I don't have my cellphone number as my name, and I'm not buying a second account just to post to Yahoo. There are free POP3 services, and I signed up for one. My username was "moblog" followed by my cell number. I tried to post... didn't work. So I scourered the web and found this place called HotPop.com. It didn't work. Then I stumbled upon TextAmerica.com. I've never heard of it, but I decided to check it out. After some trial and error and a fairly strange video posting policy (videos have to be "approved", but by whom? Is there some person watching every video and deciding if it's okay?). At first, this seemed like a dead end, because I figured that I was the person that had to approve it when I got my first email asking me to do exactly that. And unfortunately, the programming language that linked me to the approval process wasn't understood by my phone. But I soon found out that simply logging into the regular site would allow me to upload. It took a while loading each page, but it worked. Then, with my first test upload tonight, my video showed up online without my approval (I mean, I sent it, I just didn't go through the approval process).


So, I'm pretty spyched. I was hoping for just one place to host all of my mobile blogging, but I'm okay with two. Pictures and videos through TextAmerica, and audio and texual through bloggger (blogspot) dot com. So basically, there isn't anything I can't do now!